Wednesday, December 03, 2014

Midweek Meditation: "Proud & Defensive" vs "Broken & Vulnerable"

This chart is taken from Peter Scazzero's bestselling book called "The Emotionally Healthy Church." It is not meant to be scientific, only a few indicative statements to test our emotional inclinations. 

1. I am guarded and protective about my imperfections and flaws.
1. I am transparent and week; I disclose myself to appropriate people.
2. I focus on the “positive,” strong, successful parts of myself.
2. I am aware of the weak, needy, limited parts of who I am and I freely admit to failure.
3. I am highly “offendable” and defensive.
3. I am approachable and open to input.
4. I naturally focus first on the flaws, mistakes, and sins of others.
4. I am aware of my own brokenness. I have compassion and am slow to judge others.
5. I give my opinion a lot, even when I am not asked.
5. I am slow to speak and quick to listen.
6. I don’t get close to people.
6. I am open and curious about others.
7. I keep people from really seeing what is going on inside me.
7. I delight in showing vulnerability and weakness, so Christ’s power is seen.
8. I like to control most situations.
8. I can let go and give people the opportunity to earn my trust.
9. I have to be right in order to feel strong and good.
9. I understand that God’s strength reveals itself in admitting mistakes, weakness, and statements that “I was wrong.”
10. I blame others.
10. I take responsibility for myself and speak mostly in the “I,” not the “you” or “they.”
11. I often hold grudges and rarely ask forgiveness.
11. I don’t hold people in debt to me, and I am able to ask others for forgiveness as needed.
12. When I am offended, I write people off.
12. When I am offended, I ask questions to explore what happened.
13. I deny, avoid, or withdraw from painful realities.
13. I honestly look at the truth underneath the surface, even when it hurts.
14. I give answers and explanations to those in pain, hoping to fix or change them.
14. I am present with people in their pain and am comfortable with Mystery and with saying, “I don’t know.”
15. I have to prove I’m right when wronged
15. I can let things go.
16. I am demanding.
16. I assert myself respectfully and kindly.
17. I am highly self-conscious and concerned about how others perceive me.
17. I am more aware of God and others than the impression I am making.
18. I see people as resources to be used for God.
18. I see people as gifts to be loved and enjoyed.

[Peter Scazzero, The Emotionally Healthy Church, Zondervan, 2003, p114-5]


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