BookPastor >> "Hearing God in Conversation" (Samuel C. Williamson)

This review was first published at Panorama of a Book Saint on Aug 22nd, 2016.

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TITLE: Hearing God in Conversation: How to Recognize His Voice Everywhere
AUTHOR: Samuel C. Williamson
PUBLISHER: Grand Rapids, MI: Kregel Publications, 2016, (216 pages).

Is God still speaking to us today? What if we don't hear an audible voice? What if we try and try but keep hearing echoes of silence? Is it a problem with God not speaking or is it more a problem of us not hearing? According to author and founding director of "Beliefs of the Heart" ministry, Samuel Williamson, God is always speaking. We just need to learn how to listen, but learn to tune our spiritual ears to hear Him everywhere.  This book shows the way beyond mere rationalism or emotionalism. If God is always speaking, we need to learn as many ways as possible to connect with God. The key point in this book is that "conversation is the point." For if Christianity is indeed a relationship between God and us, we will know the key things that define a relationship. Vivid interaction is preferred to constant direction. Who wants to have a relationship with people always telling what to do? A relationship is a two-way street and not a one-directional highway. It allows us to be comfortably ourselves. It is more about each other rather than the things to be talked about. The amazing thing is that our God communicates with us in multiple ways. In conviction, we have God impressing on our hearts the things we did, whether it is good or not. In insight, we get sudden bursts of inspiration. In revelation, we hear clearly what God wanted to say to us. It can be from books or the Word of God. It can be from our daily devotions. It can also be from an impression that is unmistakably God's.

BookPastor >> "The Listening Life" (Adam S. McHugh)

This review was first published at Panorama of a Book Saint on April 8th, 2016.

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TITLE: The Listening Life: Embracing Attentiveness in a World of Distraction
AUTHOR: Adam S. McHugh
PUBLISHER: Downers Grove, IL: IVP, 2016, (224 pages).

Attentiveness is a much needed quality these days. In a culture where distracted driving is occurring more often than drunk driving, people tend to be talking more and listening less. Welcome to an age of distraction and self-seeking endeavors. According to Adam McHugh, "listening comes first" even before we were born. McHugh, an ordained minister with the Presbyterian Church USA is also spiritual director, speaker, and retreat leader. His first book, "Introverts in the Church" talks about the plight of introverts trying to find their place in churches that tend to appeal more to extroverts. This second book of his attempts to contrast the need for listening in a highly talkative world. Why listen? That is because listening is the foundational discipline for what it means to be human. It is the first step of discipleship. It helps us avoid grabbing too much sound space from others. It prepares us with a disposition to receive instructions from God rather than to tell God what God already knew. For preachers, listening comes before preaching. In this very perceptive book, McHugh provides some challenging questions:

• If we learn to listen first, how will that impact our relationships?
• If we discipline ourselves to listen to God first, how will our relationship with God become?
• What if our default position in anything is listening?
• What will happen if we learn to listen first with our ears rather than to move our lips?
• What about listening to our inner selves?

Midweek Meditation: "Who am I?" (Parker Palmer)

"From the beginning, our lives lay down clues to selfhood and vocation, though the clues may be hard to decode. But trying to interpret them is profoundly worthwhile - especially when we are in our twenties or thirties or forties, feeling profoundly lost, having wandered, or been dragged, far away from our birthright gifts.

Those clues are helpful in counteracting the conventional concept of vocation, which insists that our lives must be driven by 'oughts.' As noble as that may sound, we do not find our callings by conforming ourselves to some abstract moral code. We find our callings by claiming authentic selfhood, by being who we are, by dwelling in the world as Zusya rather than straining to be Moses. The deepest vocational question is not 'What ought I to do with my life?' It is the more elemental and demanding 'Who am I? What is my nature?'"

(Parker Palmer, Let Your Life Speak, San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass, 2000, p15)

Stereotyping Ourselves to Deaf

I have slightly edited this article from the one previously published at blogs.christianpost.com here. Both articles are written by yours truly.

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Back in seminary, one theologian that my professors and my fellow students, often quote is the WWII pastor-martyr, Dietrich Bonhoeffer. His classic, "Life Together" continues to bring home new insights with regards to Christians living together. One of the most striking things Bonhoeffer has written is how Christians demonstrate love by listening to one another. He writes,

"The first service that one owes to others in the fellowship consists listening to them. Just as love to God begins with listening to His Word, so the beginning of love for the brethren is learning to listen to them." (Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together, New York: Harper & Row, 1954, 97)

By bringing together listening and loving, one is essentially practicing ministry at its best. In the Hebrew shemah, the word "Hear" can sometimes be used synonymously with the word obedience. It is one and the same word. Being obedient and listening well are the two sides of the same coin of love. In my years of facilitating discussion groups, there is something which I find disturbing when it comes to trying to listen well: When we stereotype the person who is speaking.

Whenever stereotyping occurs, there is danger in listening well. In fact, over time, stereotyping can lead to a deafening silence as far as learning to listen to others are concerned. For example, take one brother who has been known to be long-winded. He often speaks in a meandering way, and whenever he speaks, the other members of the group roll their eyes, as if they have heard it all. One shuts his eyes to take a short nap. Another flashes up his cellphone to busy himself with something. Apparently, at that time, anything is more interesting than listening. Pity the facilitator who has to be fair to everyone who speaks. He has to humble himself to paraphrase, to translate, or to guide the discussion back to the main points

In stereotyping, three things essentially happens. Firstly, stereotyping shuts away our personal openness to that person. The potential listener by internal labeling has already sized up that person through pre-judgment. Whether the label is "boring," "long-winded," "leftist," "sports fanatic," "anti-abortion advocate," or whatever, the label shut one's listening dramatically. When the label is at play, the mind goes away. Listening hardly goes beyond the hearing of mumbles and jumbles, as they are all drowned out by the stereotyping in progress.

Secondly, stereotyping constricts the flow of sharing from that person to us. It straitjackets the other person's opinions into our already set in place interpretive framework. The human mind has an awesome capacity to manipulate information they receive into an object they perceive or want to perceive. 

Thirdly, stereotyping imposes old perceptions on new perspectives. This is perhaps the biggest reason why many group members do not grow in understanding one another. The failure to listen well is tied to one's tendency to stereotype the person, what they say, and how they say it. For them, there is nothing new under the same discussion group.

True listening is hard work. Stereotyping is cheap stuff. True listening requires us to be open. Stereotyping automatically close up our listening. True listening is love. Stereotyping is narcissism. True listening is humility. Stereotyping is pride. 

Let me share three tips on listening well.

1) Learn to ask questions. Ask in a way that shows genuine desire to understand. By asking questions, people will be encouraged, simply to know that a brother or a sister care enough to move his discussion along.

2) Learn to clarify by paraphrasing what you hear. This is a key skill for all facilitators to learn, and for group members to observe and imitate. By paraphrasing, it gives others a chance to hear what we hear, and to clarify. Clarification remains one of the most important discipline to avoid misunderstanding.

3) Learn to say less. Our culture is a largely noisy one, thanks also to our normal tendency to hear our voices more than others. Perhaps, if we have been talking a lot, remember that we need to be gracious to let others share too. By letting others talk and we say less, it is one way of putting into practice, that puts others more important than our own opinions. Moreover, we have two ears and one mouth. Is that not a clue that we need to listen doubly hard every time we want to speak?

Failure to listen well is often not because of external factors. It is what is happening inside us that prevents us from true loving by listening. One of the main culprits is stereotyping. If we overuse stereotyping, soon, we will be stereotyping our relationships to deaf.

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