BookPastor >> "Seated with Christ" (Heather Holleman)

This review was first published at Panorama of a Book Saint on Sep 27th, 2016.

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TITLE: Seated with Christ: Living Freely in a Culture of Comparison
AUTHOR: Heather Holleman
PUBLISHER: Chicago, IL: Moody Publishers, 2016, (192 pages).

Admit it. We are all guilty of comparing ourselves with others. The difference is in the degree of comparison. In our rush to get things done, sometimes we need a reminder to just pause, perhaps, take a seat, have a cup of coffee, and take stock of where we are. Perhaps, we have given in to the temptations to take charge, to maintain primary control, and to let human wisdom predominate over all. In doing so, we become enslaved to our own wishes. We work as if our salvation depends on what we do or not do. We struggle for the best academic result as if our life's qualifications depend on our efforts. We try harder, serve harder, publish harder, and strive harder in our various earthly pursuits. In focusing upon the verbs within our abilities, we unwittingly sidestepped what Christ had done for us. Expounding on the essence of Ephesians 2:6, the author provides a spiritual snapshot of what it means to be seated with Christ. With creative renditions of how these verbs personify the anxieties of the human heart, Holleman pulls out four strands of the essence of what it means to be seated in Christ.

Compassion Before Coffee

This is a heartwarming story of how a small team of coffee baristas from Dutch Brothers in Vancouver Washington, coming together to bless and to comfort a needy soul.


 



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Midweek Meditation: "Caring Friendship"

Henri Nouwen (1932-1996)

"Real care is not ambiguous. Real care excludes indifference and is the opposite of apathy. The word 'care' finds its roots in the Gothic 'Kara' which means lament. The basic meaning of care is: to grieve, to experience sorrow, to cry out with. 

I am very much struck by this background of the word care because we tend to look at caring as an attitude of the strong toward the weak, of the powerful toward the powerless, of the ‘haves’ toward the ‘have-nots.' And, in fact, we feel quite uncomfortable with an invitation to enter into someone’s pain before doing something about it. Still, when we honestly ask ourselves which persons in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not-knowing, not-curing, not-healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is the friend who cares." (Henri Nouwen)

BookPastor >> "Just Show Up" (Kara Tippetts)

This review was first published at Panorama of a Book Saint on November 4th, 2015.

conrade

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TITLE: Just Show Up: The Dance of Walking through Suffering Together
AUTHOR: Kara Tippetts
PUBLISHER: Colorado Springs, CO: David C. Cook Publishers, 2015, (192 pages).

This book begins with a somber greeting: "Hi. My name is Kara Tippetts, and I may not be alive when you read this book. I hope so, but I don’t know. That decision is in the hands of the Author of my life—His name is Jesus. I trust Him with every ounce of who I am."

With these words, Tippetts begins this book with hope, that even when she does not know what to do, what to say, or what to answer, just showing up is already a blessing in itself. It is also a step of humility to come as we are to say: "I'm here. I may not have the answers, but I'm here." With "Just Show Up" as her principle of perseverance through the ups and downs, and especially the suffering moments of life, cancer patient Tippetts shows us what perseverance means amid the pains and sorrows of life. Tippetts died on March 22, 2015, but not without touching the lives of many. Through this book, her life continues to influence many even after her death. Written with Jill Lynn Buteyn, author of inspirational novel, Falling for Texas, this book is an honest down to earth retelling of the struggles through the tough times of life by simply walking together and being present for each other.

Midweek Meditation: "This is My Prayer For You"

This week, I like to share a song about praying for others. The best gift we can ask for is Jesus.



Here are the words of this simple but lovely song.

BookPastor >> "The Practice of Pastoral Care" (Carrie Doehring)

This review was first published at Panorama of a Book Saint on July 28th, 2015.

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TITLE: The Practice of Pastoral Care, Revised and Expanded Edition
AUTHOR: Carrie Doehring
PUBLISHER: Louisville, KY: Westminster John Knox Press, 2015, (232 pages).

Pastoral care is a critical part of any Church ministry. The word "pastor" is synonymous with "shepherd." Unlike some places that sees the pastor as the leader-CEO, the true biblical basis of a pastor is to shepherd the flock. How we practice pastoral care however have changed, partly because of changing needs. In this book, the way is to adopt a "postmodern approach" toward the practice of pastoral care. Calling it an "intercultural approach," pastoral care in this book means not just listening to the stories of the people but also to create meaning of them. It means learning to piece together the broken pieces of life. It means learning to help people tell their stories. It means cultivating trust. For Carrie Doehring, it is the heart of pastoral care where people are willing to open up their lives to caregivers. It is about creating opportunities for "care conversations" and relating real-life to theological truths and biblical principles. Doehring goes a step further to advocate for a care that brings back individuals from a de-centered sacred bearings due to suffering and painful circumstances. How can one show compassion and understanding toward those questioning their faith and religious values? This calls for a "theological, cultural, and psychological expertise" that can help care for parishioners and people in such need, what Doehring refers to as "the compassionate art of intercultural care." Carers essentially enter into the lives of others, sharing in their pain, walking with them in the valley of questions and celebrating with them in the answers of joy. It is about intermingling one's lives with another so as to build a bridge that aids integrative moments and shared stories. It is collaborative exploration of new and strange emotional territories. The author attempts to use a "trifocal lens" which comprises of a precritical, a modern, and a postmodern approach.  As a first-order language, a precritical lens looks at the world from a divine perspective. The modern lens is a second-order language that adopts "text critical methods" and social sciences to include empirical analysis and rational judgment of knowledge. The postmodern approach is the third-order language that nuances all of these in the light of present contexts. This approach involves the meaning making and the response of individuals to the earlier two orders of language. She summarizes the book's structure in six parts.

Midweek Meditation: "What Does it Mean to Care?" (Henri Nouwen)

"What does it mean to care? Let me start by saying that the word care has become a very ambivalent word. When someone says: “I will take care of him!” it is more likely an announcement of an impending attack than of a tender compassion. And besides this ambivalence, the word care is most often used in a negative way. “Do you want coffee or tea?” “I don’t care.” “Do you want to stay home or go to a movie?” “I don’t care.” “Do you want to walk or go by car?” “I don’t care.” This indifference toward choices in life has become commonplace. And often it seems that not to care has become more acceptable than to care, and a carefree life-style more attractive than a careful one.

Real care is not ambiguous. Real care excludes indifference and is the opposite of apathy. The word “care” finds its roots in the Gothic “Kara” which means lament. The basic meaning of care is: to grieve, to experience sorrow, to cry out with. I am very much struck by this background of the word care because we tend to look at caring as an attitude of the strong toward the weak, of the powerful toward the powerless, of the have’s toward the have-not’s. And, in fact, we feel quite uncomfortable with an invitation to enter into someone’s pain before doing something about it.

Still, when we honestly ask ourselves which persons in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not-knowing, not-curing, not-healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is the friend who cares." (Henri Nouwen, Out of Solitude, Notre Dame, IN: Ave Maria Press, 2004, p25-6)

Midweek Meditation: "Alzheimer's Communication"

This is from an experienced nurse.

BookPastor >> "Passion for the Fatherless" (Daniel J. Bennett)

When we look at Paul's letter to the Ephesians, especially chapter 1 verse 5, we would realize one thing: We are all adopted. Some have gone on to say that the very gospel thrust is about adoption and the Church ought to be the prime force behind adoptions. This review was first published on November 17th, 2014 at Panorama of a Book Saint.

conrade

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TITLE: A Passion for the Fatherless: Developing a God-Centered Ministry to Orphans
AUTHOR: Daniel J. Bennett
PUBLISHER: Grand Rapids, MI: Kregel Academic, 2014, (240 pages).

Experts estimate the number of orphans globally stands at 163 million. In the United States alone, there are 425,000 of which 115,000 are waiting to be adopted. We may shudder at the numbers or be horrified at the huge quantity of fatherless. What about our compassion? Is it not God's will for us to care for the poor, the weak, the vulnerable, widows and orphans? Bennett believes that it is not only what God wanted the Church to do, it is also a very powerful "apologetic" when believers stand together to support the fatherless. Whether it is fostering, adopting, mentoring, or simply supporting, the transformation can go much more. Not only will orphans be reached and cared for, the ones who reached out will also be transformed.

Daniel J. Bennett is Senior Pastor of Bethany Community Church in central Illinois whose passion for orphans accelerated after his stint as a Family Pastor in 2005. He has adopted a child too. He notes how people caring for foster children are able to open up conversations about God as well. He describes his convictions as follows.

"My compassion for orphans flow from the fact that I know God and know that he passionately cares for the fatherless. I love orphans because I love God. If I did not have this theological understanding, my passion for orphans would be commendable but ultimately worthless." (19)

BookPastor >> "Planted" (Leah Kostamo)

This review was first published at Panorama of a Book Saint on April 14th, 2014. It is one of the best books I have read this year. 

conrade

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TITLE: Planted: A Story of Creation, Calling, and Community
AUTHOR: Leah Kostamo
PUBLISHER: Eugene, OR: Cascade Books, 2013, (172 pages).

This is a beautiful book. Few books have managed to capture the essence of nature, the joys of community, and the affirmation of a simple calling like this one. Leah Kostamo, a wife, a former campus ministry worker, as well as a co-founder of the A Rocha ministry based in BC Canada, has shown us how good stories can be told with simplicity, with insight, and with humour. Combining her love for creation and conservation, her natural talent for observing details in ordinary things, her passion for community building, coupled with her eloquent use of words, this book is destined for greatness in the literary world. As a memoir, readers will be humbled at how the author and her husband Markku would give up lucrative careers, sell their house, and to pour all their assets into a non-profit ministry without guarantee that it would even survive its initial years. Yet, it did and it did so marvelously, blessing, teaching, and enabling thousands of visitors and volunteers at their farm facility. The ministry in Canada began as a seed back in 1996 at a Regent College course entitled, "Incarnational Mission" led by Peter and Miranda Harris, who had founded A Rocha in Portugal. Eight years later, the idea took root, and sprouted trunks and branches through personal investments as well as generous givers and loaners by those who expressed faith enough to walk with the Kostamos.

The book is also a mini-ecological guide. We learn about the threats of worldwide extinction of 13% of birds, 25% of mammals, and 41% of amphibians. We see how a tiny shrimp plays its microscopic role in a complex and delicate ecological environment, that benefits beavers, bears, and big trees. We read about invasive species, weeds, the birds, and even slugs. Along the way, Kostamo makes sure we do not get carried away in the natural world and forget about the technological world. With a deft touch of humour, she compares and contrasts pods of orcas with iPods! It can also be used as a primer in becoming more nature aware. We are encouraged to think about the tap water we have, to think about its source, its distribution channels, and all the resources poured into the whole system. We are challenged to think about the gardens, how the seasons impact life, the variety of birds and nature around us, and even rocks and minerals that seem so mundane for the busy individual.

It is also a guide for a deeper awareness of what eating entails. For those of us whose limited vocabulary of eating centered around restaurants, the food on our tables, or the kitchen, we get invited into a world of farming, of growing our own food, and the beauty of real food over processed stuff. Food is not just something to be consumed, but it can incorporate a work of art in itself. Beyond the feasting, we will appreciate the preparation beyond mere cook books, and to be respectful in the way we partake of God's providence for us. Slowly but surely, the book becomes a rallying point in the practice of Micah 6:8, that we learn to live justly, love mercy, and to walk humbly. Very aptly, the book closes with a relook at the biblical Sabbath, reminding us that working hard and doing good have their limits. Man can only do so much. Everything else totally depends on God alone. The keeping of the Sabbath is a powerful reminder that we by ourselves are limited. That is why Sabbath keeping enables us to be natural ourselves one day a week, as we busy ourselves with nature on the other six days.

This book is a rare find. More accurately, the book found me. When contacted to do this review, I promptly agreed because of curiosity in part, and to support a fellow Regent alum as well. Little did I know that I would be receiving a literary gem, a unique seed that germinates in me a greater appreciation of nature and creation. Most of all, I am humbled by how the Kostamos' passion-turned-reality have blessed people of all ages from all walks of life. There is a lot of material in this humble looking book. Open it up at any one page and you can easily find a point or two to learn from and to contemplate after.

I am full of praise of the quality of this book. I particularly appreciate the three points to show us the way forward, namely; 1) Practice Gratitude; 2) Practice Generosity; and 3) Practice the Sabbath Keeping. On all three counts, I say a hearty Amen! A clear best of the best so far in my 2014 stack of books.

Thank you, Leah Kostamo for letting me know that this book even existed.

Rating: 5 stars of 5.

conrade

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This book is provided to me courtesy of the author in exchange for an honest review. All opinions offered above are mine unless otherwise stated or implied.

Midweek Meditation: "An Alzheimer's Request"

This particular posting is a reminder that empathy is preferred, not sympathy. For true caring comes when we are able to empathize with the person we care about. Next time we meet someone with Alzheimer's, try to listen more and talk less. For some of us, who knows. We may be the very people who need others to understand us when we ourselves get Alzheimer's.

An Alzheimer's Request (Poem by Owen Darnell)

Do not ask me to remember
Don't try to make me understand
Let me rest and know you're with me
Kiss my cheek and hold my hand.

I'm confused beyond your concept
I'm sad and sick and lost
All I know is that I need you
To be with me at all cost.

Please do not lose your patience with me
Do not scold me or curse or cry
I can't help the way I'm acting
I can't be different though I try.

Just remember that I need you
And the best of me is gone
Please don't fail to stand beside me
And love me till my life is done.

conrade

Midweek Meditation: "Thanksgiving Prayer"

This prayer by the late Samuel Pugh (1850-1922) is a reminder that we need to be good stewards of what we have, to be mindful of those who do not have, and to do something about it.

conrade

Ten Warning Signs of an Inward Looking Church

I read with interest Thom Rainer's article entitled, "The 10 Warning Signs of an Inwardly Obsessed Church." Briefly put, they are:

1. Worship Wars
2. Prolonged Minutia Meetings
3. Facility Focus
4. Program Driven
5. Inwardly Focused Budget
6. Inordinate Demands for Pastoral Care
7. Attitudes of Entitlement
8. Greater Concern about Change than the Gospel
9. Anger and Hostility
10. Evangelistic Apathy.

This list is backed by what Thom Rainer says is his "research of churches and consultation with churches." As readers, we can just take his word for it. As for application, I can safely say that some, if not all, will apply for our individual church communities. How do we read such a list? Do we appear defensive about it all? Or do we allow ourselves to wallow in our poor state, and worse, do nothing?  Let me try to look at each of them from a redemptive angle. This means that even though each of them are warning signs about an inward looking Church, there is still hope in turning it around toward being a God-ward looking Church.

Looking Redemptively At Each of Them
"Worship Wars" is a common phrase used to describe the two camps: Traditional vs Contemporary. This is still happening in many churches. That is why I think it is important for us to be open about it, and to call a spade a spade. Call the war a war. Then ask whether it is a necessary war in the first place. If we are guilty of constantly squabbling over whether to do a more "traditional" kind of worship with hymns, instead of "contemporary" choruses and modern songs, we are essentially more concerned about human preferences rather than what is the purpose of singing in the first place. I think the worship wars is another point of contention among people of different generations. After all, it is another way in which different music styles and preferences appeal to different age groups.

Redemptive Perspective #1: Focus on the theme of the worship. Choose songs that reflect a healthy variety across the different music eras. It is not the music that is the point. It is how the music, the tempo, and the overall worship mood POINT to the Creator God.

"Prolonged Minutia Meetings" is basically about majoring on the minors, putting undue weight on mundane matters, to the detriment of what is more important to the gospel. Sometimes, people call meetings simply because they feel safety in numbers.

Redemptive Perspective #2: Keep meetings in their proper perspective. One of the key ways is to set time limits right from the start. Consider the importance of each topic right from the start, assign time limits, keep watch on the time spent on debating the topic, and be prayerful throughout.

"Facility focus" is about churches that also put more emphasis on self-preservation instead of open giving.

Redemptive Perspective #3: Maintaining the facilities of the Church is still a part of good stewardship. We cannot do away with that. What is important is to remember that keeping the facilities intact is not the purpose of the Church. The purpose is to shine as the light to the neighbourhood, and to let the Church be community  to all, and not just Church for some. This many even mean risking theft, sabotage, and all kinds of abuse when Church starts to be open to inviting strangers into the facility. The key thing in preserving the facility is to ask: What or who are we preserving the building for? How is the building being used for the gospel?

"Program Driven" is something many churches are dependent upon in order to draw in the people, to give people something to look forward to. I am a little ambivalent when it comes to this. We need programs. We also need focus that the programs is trying to get us toward. The key is to remember what the programs are leading us toward, and not let programs become an end in itself.

Redemptive Perspective #4: Rather than to throw away programs altogether, why not line up each program with the mission and vision of the organization. How much is it serving the needs of the inside community? How much is it serving the needs of the outside community? How is the balance?

"Inwardly Focused Budget" is a tell-tale sign of what is more important to a Church. What if the majority of the Church budget goes into its own programs? Worse, if members feel comfortable about spending more than 80% on their own programs and self-preservation, that will be a clear sign of an inward looking Church.

Redemptive Perspective #5: Take a step of faith. Cut back on inward budgeting and expand the giving. Be stingy when it comes for spending on self. Be generous, even lavish when spending on the needs of the community around us, in missions, in outreach, and in helping the poor.

"Inordinate Demands for Pastoral Care" is something that often bogs down the time and energy of leaders in any organization. When this happens, the Church no longer looks like a city whose light is set on the hill for all to see. It resembles the ambulance light inside the organization, constantly flashing at each member's house. Working 24x7, the Church's constant cry for care amid personal pain makes us wonder about the theology of care in the Church. After all, a healthy Church is one that exercises all the gifts, and not dependent on a handful of people only.

Redemptive Perspective #6: People are tougher than what we think. Given the right push and motivation, they can be part of the solution instead of part of the problem. Instead of constantly clamoring for attention, I think it is important to learn to be dependent on God, and to ask God to show us how to be people who give care instead of waiting for care to come to us.

"Attitudes of Entitlement" is something ingrained by the culture around us. Many of us grow up thinking that the world owes us a living. I think it stems from people still in an immature stage of faith. A growing child of God will learn that his dependence is on God more and more, and on the world less and less.

Redemptive Perspective #7: The key thing is not to cast a blanket stare at people wanting their needs met, or requests fulfilled. It is to sieve away the unnecessary from the essential, and the prioritize the meeting of needs according to the latter instead of the former. We are all entitled to some essentials. In fact, when a Church gathers, there are some non-negotiables, such as acknowledging God in prayer and thanksgiving, worshiping God when we come together in God's Name, and loving one another.

"Greater Concern about Change than the Gospel" is a little more tricky. I think what Rainer is referring to is the resistance to change that is the problem. In my experience, many people are willing to change, as long as it happens far away, or to some other people and not themselves. The trouble is, the gospel changes lives. Any change must reflect that gospel work in us.

Redemptive Perspective #8: Do not change for the sake of changing. Change according to how the gospel first changes us. This calls for a realistic and honest snapshot of where we are currently. This demands a clear vision of where we need to go. In between, we are all to serve one another, and let changes reflect that desire to serve God, our community, and one another better. 

"Anger and Hostility" is a real problem in many churches. I have heard people complain about the place of power and politics even in Christian organizations. Sometimes, people call it leadership struggles or takeovers. It all boils down to relationships that have broken down, and the Church subsequently moves towards a painful split. Forgiveness and graciousness rank supreme.

Redemptive Perspective #9: Think unity. Think togetherness. Think about where one's anger and hostility is helping the Church. Sometimes, we tend to think that truth and principles upheld are more important than relationships. Wrong. While the former is important, do not forget that Christ came to die for people, not principles. It is better to be wronged for doing right, than the be right by wronging others, whether intentionally or unintentionally.

"Evangelistic Apathy" is described by Rainer about a lack of evangelistic fervor by many of the members. When it comes to only the pastor or certain leaders sharing the faith, it makes one wonder about the health of the whole Church. One can do evangelism and then be self-gratified that one's responsibility is done. Wrong. When it comes to sharing the gospel, it is a growing fervour, not a one-off endeavour.

Redemptive Perspective #10: Evangelism begins at home. It begins with a clear sense of gratitude of God's grace for our own lives. There is both inreach as well as outreach. However, first, there needs to be a divine reach from God to us. Are we touched by the Holy Spirit? Is Christ real in our hearts? How much do we comprehend the love of God? If we do not get this first foundation in place, any evangelistic effort will be build on the sinking sands of apathy and cold spiritual state.


conrade

Caring Begins Inside

Go to any Church, you will recognize that the need for pastoral care is always there. More often than not, the demands far exceed the supply. Experienced ministry workers will know of this golden rule of pastoral care: "I don't care how much you know, until I know how much you care."

This places tremendous pressure on people, even those with the best of intentions.

• How much care is enough?
• Is one visit a week too little?
• How do we distinguish who needs care more than the other?
• Comments like: "The pastor has not even visited me for the past 10 years!"
• This Church is poor in caring. The pastor don't care. The elders don't care. The leaders are too busy to care. The staff don't care, and the people don't care. So why should I care?

This is not an easy matter to resolve. In fact, I doubt that it will ever be resolved. Caring is not the responsibility of the leaders or any one super-carer. It is the need to have a mindset change.

"All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need." (Acts 2:44-45)

Caring matters, and because caring matters, it matters who does it. All of us. Even if we have a leader, a pastor, or an elder willing to run around all the time listening and caring for people, can that person do it alone? Can that person sustain his level of care over the long-run? The answer is clearly no. A team of people is needed. A Church is not a counseling center where people in need of counseling gets referred to. Neither is it a spiritual hospital where only people who are hurt go to. It is a community of believers sharing all they have, and meeting one another's needs. The moment the expectation becomes a one to many approach, the caring paradigm has become unhealthy. Such a pastor-centric or elder-fixated caring paradigm will not only turn into unhealthy codependency on the part of the congregation, it discourages anyone else from taking up leadership positions. Worse, it may make the leaders seem more "spiritual," or a holier-than-thou mindset. No! We are all called to care. We are all called to be part of the ministry. Like the early Church in Acts, we are called to be united, to share everything, and to give to all who are in need. The responsibility is on all of us. In a nutshell, it takes the whole Church to do the work of the whole Church. The people of God, for the people of God.

Instead of this,

A One to Many Model

The New Testament Church is this.

Everyone Needs Care. Everyone Can Care.

This kind of care networks will be beneficial for at least three reasons.

1. The pressure will not be on any one person, but on everyone looking to God together.
2. The model will survive more long-term.
3. The reach will be wider and deeper.

The main focus for any church group is not to be too quick to jump into a one-to-many paradigm. It is far too easy to throw expectations on any one person, and even easier to be disappointed when the expectations are not met. Far better is to think long term. What does it take for a mindset change? I like to suggest three below.

1. TEAM-BUILDING: Recognize that Caring cannot be a one-off thing. It requires thoughtful planning and team building. Build care teams. Planning is essential. Otherwise, One-to-Many types of leaders are easily prone to burnout.
2. SELF-GIVING: Caring is not about saying something and then expecting others to follow up. If God places the need in your heart, ask what you are doing about it, instead of subcontracting the need to others.
3. CARRY-IT-FORWARD: Caring is more than counseling. It is a way of Caring-It-Forward. I care for you, now you go and show care for others, as best as you can.

Above all, every Church needs to be remember that caring needs to be done in God's strength. Not ours.

conrade