Midweek Meditation: "Making Sense of God 4" (Tim Keller)

TITLE: Making Sense of God: An Invitation to the Skeptical
AUTHOR: Tim Keller
PUBLISHER: New York, NY: Viking Books, 2016, (330 pages).

Keller continues to invitation to a discussion with the next chapter about happiness and true contentment. He skillfully dissects the four key strategies secular people use to smother their underlying levels of discontent. He critiques firstly the strategies of youth where one thinks that by getting the right job, the right love partner, the right qualifications and so on, one would be happy. Truth is, these are basic distractions from the true pursuit of meaning. Secondly, we complain about the barriers preventing us from getting at our perceived goals of happiness. Thus we resent and believe that our path to happiness is to eliminate these barriers. This too is temporary. Thirdly, we become driven people to accumulate all kinds of possessions and accomplishments. Unfortunately, this is like that running on a treadmill where we have a lot of activity but does not progress in terms of physical distance. Like the physical treadmill, once we tire, we stop. Fourthly, we may adopt the strategy of despairing in which we no longer blame others but ourselves.

Other religions try to resolve such discontent through altruism (just keep doing good no matter how empty we feel); or cynicism (hardening one's heart about the non-existence of good meaning and purpose); or detachment (to escape). Keller then produces a powerful argument for God and love.

Question 4: "How Can We Be Happy?"
"There is another powerful dimension to this reordering of loves. Paul Bloom, in his book How Pleasure Works, argues that what matters most for pleasure is not the simple impact on our senses but what it means in relationship to other persons who matter to us. A painting that we think is an original by an admired artist gives less pleasure when we find out it is not. A chair may be comfortable, but if it is our mother's favorite chair from her sitting room, it will give us even more pleasure. To use theological language, 'we enjoy things most when we experience them as a sacrament - as carriers of the presence of another.' " (93)

"Here, then, is the message. Don't love anything less; instead learn to love God more, and you will love other things with far more satisfaction. You won't overprotect them, you won't overexpect things from them. You won't be constantly furious with them for not being what you hoped. Don't stifle passionate love for anything; rather, redirect your greatest love toward God by loving him with your whole heart and love him for himself, not just for what he can give you. Then, and only then, does the contentment start to come. That is the Christian view of satisfaction. It avoids the pitfalls of both the ancient strategy of tranquillity through detachment and the modern strategy of happiness through acquisition. It both explains and resolves the deep conundrum of our seemingly irremediable discontent." (94)

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Amazon Top 1000 Reviewer List (#989)

Wow! I made it to Amazon's Top 1000 Review list today. Never thought I'd get this far.

conrade

Midweek Meditation: "Happiness is Contagious"

This is a reminder that parenting requires faith. It needs us to trust that our children will need to find their own way to grow. As Christians, we submit to God to help lead and guide our children. The best way is to be changed people ourselves. A wise sage once said, "Aim not to be a sage at the stage but a guide by the side."

conrade

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Happiness is Contagious
"If you always compare your children's abilities to those of great athletes, entertainers, and celebrities, 
they will lose their own power. 
If you urge them to acquire and achieve, 
they will learn to cheat and steal to meet your expectations. 
Encourage you children's deepest joys, 
not their superficial desires. 
Praise their patience, 
not their ambition. 
Do not value the distractions and diversions 
that masquerade as success. 
They will learn to hear their own voice 
instead of the noise of the crowd. 

If you teach them to achieve 
they will never be content. 
If you teach them contentment, 
they will naturally achieve everything. 

We all want our children to be happy. 
Somehow, some way today 
show them something that makes you happy, 
something you truly enjoy. 
Your own happiness is contagious. 
They learn the art from you."

(William Martin, The Parent's Tao Te Ching, NY: Avalon, 1999, p5-6)

The Science of Happiness

This video is a touching and inspiring one. For those who are unhappy, it is an experiment that will elevate one's level of happiness. Gratitude. The universal formula for happiness.


conrade

Touching Story of Appreciation

This story is widely available on the Internet. I am not sure of the original source, since it has been posted so many times on social media. Let me know if you have the author's name, and I will add credit accordingly. This story touches on how a prospective candidate was hired, not on the basis of his achievements or qualifications, but on the basis of something much more personal and simple.

conrade 

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One young man went to apply for a managerial position in a big company. He passed the initial interview, and now would meet the director for the final interview.

The director discovered from his CV that the youth's academic achievements were excellent. He asked, "Did you obtain any scholarships in school?" the youth answered "no".

" Was it your father who paid for your school fees?"

"My father passed away when I was one year old, it was my mother who paid for my school fees.” he replied.

" Where did your mother work?"

"My mother worked as clothes cleaner.”

The director requested the youth to show his hands. The youth showed a pair of hands that were smooth and perfect.

" Have you ever helped your mother wash the clothes before?"

"Never, my mother always wanted me to study and read more books. Besides, my mother can wash clothes faster than me."

The director said, "I have a request. When you go home today, go and clean your mother's hands, and then see me tomorrow morning.

The youth felt that his chance of landing the job was high. When he went back home, he asked his mother to let him clean her hands. His mother felt strange, happy but with mixed feelings, she showed her hands to her son.

The youth cleaned his mother's hands slowly. His tear fell as he did that. It was the first time he noticed that his mother's hands were so wrinkled, and there were so many bruises in her hands. Some bruises were so painful that his mother winced when he touched it.

This was the first time the youth realized that it was this pair of hands that washed the clothes everyday to enable him to pay the school fees. The bruises in the mother's hands were the price that the mother had to pay for his education, his school activities and his future.

After cleaning his mother hands, the youth quietly washed all the remaining clothes for his mother.
That night, mother and son talked for a very long time.

Next morning, the youth went to the director's office. The Director noticed the tears in the youth's eyes, when he asked: "Can you tell me what have you done and learned yesterday in your house?"

The youth answered," I cleaned my mother's hand, and also finished cleaning all the remaining clothes'
“I know now what appreciation is. Without my mother, I would not be who I am today. By helping my mother, only now do I realize how difficult and tough it is to get something done on your own. And I have come to appreciate the importance and value of helping one’s family.

The director said, "This is what I am looking for in a manager. I want to recruit a person who can appreciate the help of others, a person who knows the sufferings of others to get things done, and a person who would not put money as his only goal in life.”

“You are hired.”

This young person worked very hard, and received the respect of his subordinates. Every employee worked diligently and worked as a team. The company's performance improved tremendously.

A child, who has been protected and habitually given whatever he wanted, would develop an "entitlement mentality" and would always put himself first. He would be ignorant of his parent's efforts. When he starts work, he assumes that every person must listen to him, and when he becomes a manager, he would never know the sufferings of his employees and would always blame others. For this kind of people, who may be good academically, they may be successful for a while, but eventually they would not feel a sense of achievement. They will grumble and be full of hatred and fight for more. If we are this kind of protective parents, are we really showing love or are we destroying our children instead?

You can let your child live in a big house, eat a good meal, learn piano, watch on a big screen TV. But when you are cutting grass, please let them experience it. After a meal, let them wash their plates and bowls together with their brothers and sisters. It is not because you do not have money to hire a maid, but it is because you want to love them in a right way. You want them to understand, no matter how rich their parents are, one day their hair will grow gray, same as the mother of that young person. The most important thing is your child learns how to appreciate the effort and experience the difficulty and learns the ability to work with others to get things done.

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conrade

12 Ways to Die Unhappy (and 12 counter steps)

Ask any parent, and one of their wishes for their children will be, "I just want them to be happy." My question to them is: "Are you happy?" Unhappiness are evident everywhere we go. On the roads, we see impatient motorists. At schools, we often see students being stressed over schoolwork and tests. At the workplace, as the economy gets tougher, the struggle to make ends meet becomes a vicious cycle of unhappiness. Employers expect workers to work more for less. Workers more often than not criticize their bosses. With pressure comes more pressure.

The list below are examples of the steps that lead to unhappiness.

Here is a list of things on how to die unhappy.

1. Separated from yourself
2. Separated from others
3. Separated from the ground of your being
4. Having never experienced any real community
5. Trying to have it all
6. Keeping it all to Yourself
7. Marching to the beat of the wrong drummer
8. Dancing to the wrong tune
9. Fighting the wrong enemy
10. Spending your life in a meaningless job
11. Living your life as a series of accidents
12. Denying your own mortality.

(Thomas Naylor, William Willimon, Magdalena Naylor, The Search for Meaning, Nashville, TN: Abingdon, 1994, 215)


Here is my list on how to counter the 12 steps that lead to unhappiness.

1. Be self-aware.
2. Be connected with others.
3. Be connected deeply with one's spiritual self.
4. Have experienced a real community.
5. Learning to say enough.
6. Learning to give to others.
7. Learning to beat to the right drummer.
8. Dancing to the right tune.
9. Fighting the right enemy.
10. Finding meaning in our jobs.
11. Living intentionally.
12. Acknowledging our own mortality, and planning for it.

conrade