Mothering with Love

Is love a many splendoured thing? Or simply something that we slap over amidst controversies or difficult discussion? Found this reflection from Patrick McNamara on Augustine pretty intriquing.

"Love is in labour with some, becomes weak with others; strives to edify some, dreads to be a cause of offense to others; stoops to some, before others stands with head erect; is gentle to some and stern to others; an enemy to none, a mother to all."

What caught my eye was 'mother to all.' Love is not a romanticised image of boy+girl=love. Neither is it a heart+arrow connotation of Cupid. Love must be tough says James Dobson. The Apostle Paul's widely quoted verse 1 Cor 13:13 says: "And now remains these three, faith, hope, love. But the greatest of these is love."

Mother. Love. Tough. Greatest. The image of a mother is one of the closest ever to defining love. All of us came into this world out of our mother's womb, often with tremendous pains that no words can ever describe. Babies feed from the mother's breast and establishes a relationship that none of us can verbalize. The love from a mother in caring and nursing a growing child is something few men can ever dared to boast of.

The words "To mother someone" has become denigrated in our society. It is used derogatively to dispel any attempts whether direct or indirect to encrouch on a person's independence. "Are you trying to mother me?" is something that is equal to "Hey, back off! Don't start telling me what to do. I know how to live my own life."

We must recover the sense of mothering in the sense that we offer another person a listening ear that is non-judgmental, but with an attitude of gentle guidance. It is like saying: "Go on, I am here if you need me." It is like a nearby boat accompanying, encouraging and being on standby for a lone swimmer attempting to swim across a 100 mile channel. It is like saying to a friend, "Press on. I am cheering for you!"

Mothering is not a bad word. It is one of the most beautiful images in life.

kianseng

An interesting Blog Opinion

Came across this blog from a Singaporean who have lived in Canada. Let me know what you think.

Regent Re-loaded

"How many courses are you taking?"
- Oh. Just 5, not counting the Audio.

"How many of those are you auditing?"
- None. I am doing all for credit.

"You're what! How could you do that?"
- I don't know. Pray for me.

That ended that conversation.

When I am busy, it is easy to simply breeze through people and rush from one reading to the next. Of all my classes, the most challenging this term is Systematic Theology C, where each week I have to read and summarise one primary source document. This week is supposed to be St Basil's treatise on the Holy Spirit. Next week is Calvin's Institutes. The following week is a Dominum et vivificantem....

This is only the second week, and I am feeling sunken already. Pray for me.

Peace quotes

"An eye for an eye will make the whole world go blind." (Gandhi)

"If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other." (Mother Teresa)

"Why is it so easy for us to be willing to pick up arms and risk our lives, and so difficult to put down those same weapons and still risk our lives - in the cause of life?" (Ramzi Kysia, a young Muslim-American peace activist)

'Leaving Church' in order to find God? (Paradox)

"By fleeing the church to seek refuge in the world, I had reversed the usual paradigm, and I had to learn my way around the new one. For half my life, the axis of my world had run through the altar of a church. I spend most of my time in church, with church people, engaging in the work of the church. My view of reality grew from that center. I looked at life through the windows of the church, using the language I had learned there not only to describe what I saw but also to make sense of it. My context was so tightly focused that even my junk mail was Christian."
(From: "Leaving Church" by Barbara Brown Taylor Harper San Francisco, 2006, 168)

Barbara Brown Taylor is one of my favourite writers. She writes with a literary style that is deceptively simple, but deeply personal. Her book is a personal memoir of faith, in which she first sought to find God through the Church. Immersing herself in dedication and utmost service to the clergy profession, she reaches the point of burnt-out, in danger of not only losing her faith, but of her personhood as well. Soon she discovers that the only way for her to salvage her faith is to leave the church she was in.

We need to learn from people like her (not necessarily to physically leave the church). Do not wait to be burnt-out before we realise that 'serving God' is not the only thing in the world. The call to serve God must never be divorced from the need to be fully human. Thou shalt keep the Sabbath, holy as to the Lord. If God so needed to rest one day a week, dare not we? Read the book.

kianseng

Damage Control (Singapore and IMF/WB mtgs)

So Singapore finally relents after extensive pressure. 22 of the banned 27 activists will finally be allowed to enter the country.

1) "Singapore, rebuked, lifts ban (IHT)"
2) "Singapore relents ban over activists (FT)"
3) "Singapore Allows some activists to meet (Hindu Times)"
4) "22 out of 26 now able to enter (CNA)"

Somehow, the damage to Singapore's reputation has already been done. At least, this latest relent by the Singapore authorities has limited the damage. Unfortunately, when I did a comparison on Google news search, the number of news articles about this latest turnaround is 377 compared to a high of 1300 about Singapore's refusal to allow the protestors to enter. Singapore has given the International media the unfortunate chance to parade the country in a negative way.

Hopefully, the media in general will be responsible to treat the whole issue as a learning process for a young country. There is hope. The Singapore leadership is open. The concern now is who are they being open to? Without the personal intervention of the IMF President and World Bank top officials, without the pressure of the International Media, without the threat of boycott by well known International Civil action groups, will this latest relent ever happen?

Power, wealth, and reputation rules the day.

Willfulness vs Willingness

I appreciate this piece of caution against the overdependence on the will.

"I can will knowledge, but not wisdom;
Going to bed, but not sleeping;
Meekness but not humility;
Scrupulousity but not virtue;
Self-assertion or bravado, but not courage;
Lust, but not love;
Commiseration, but not sympathy;
Congratulations, but not admiration;
Religiosity but not faith."
(Leslie Farber in The ways of the will: Selected Essays)

Why am I touched by this? That is partially because I have seen many (including myself) who have struggled the emotional ups and downs of doing good works, based on sheer will and self-determination. Will itself can be extremely effective. Upper management places a high premium on strong will. Even Christians in ministry sometimes pride themselves in being strong-willed to serve in all kinds of situations. I listen with concern when people say they "enjoy what they are doing." I asked inside my head, "What happens when you DON'T enjoy what you are doing?"

There are 2 kinds of will. A self-will or simply being willing. The difference is subtle. One former depends on self, like a gripped fist of determination. The latter is like an open palm, humble , gentle and waits to be led to a place unknown. For Christians, we too are constantly led to unknown places in our pilgrimage of life. The big difference, is we are led by a known God. My point is, we must never plan our lives based solely on what we enjoy or not enjoy doing, and then trust our Self-Will to fuel the whole journey. Did Christ ENJOY being led to the Cross? No. For Him, it is obedience.

kianseng