Do not Prejudge Anyone

Susan Boyles is a 47 year old participant of Britain's version of American Idol. Her performance is amazing. The saying that one should not judge a book by its cover, is overwhelmingly true in this stunning performance. You can also watch it on Youtube.

Susan Boyle on Britain's Got Talent
by dwarthy

Sometimes it makes me wonder. If we have sought to see the best of anyone, we would not be surprised at all when one gives his/her best contribution. However, the fact that people can be so astonished reveals not so much of the singer concerned, but the level of prejudgment each of us inherently does inside us. The tainted trails of sin are in many places. That is why we need to constantly watch our ways, our thoughts, our words and seek forgiveness regularly for our trespasses.

ks

Victory in defeat

It was a sheer gut-wrenching performance. For 45 minutes, I thought the impossible could happen. For 45 minutes, I harbour hopes of a great comeback in honour of the spirit of remembrance of the Hillsborough tragedy. For 45 minutes, I thought how wonderful a testimony it would have been, to tell the world that a ‘fighting spirit that never says die’ lives longer than winning games. That’s the strange thing in life. People often remember only the winners. However, winning is only made sweet when there is a long journey of heartache, disappointment and great suffering.

My favourite soccer team, Liverpool is one example. Not only are they an entertaining side (partly due to their inconsistency), they are one of those rare teams that never say die. Take the 2005 Champions League final, where they fought from 3-0 down to AC Milan, and bravely fought back. Yesterday’s game against Chelsea, their arch-rival is another classic. At half-time, they were one goal away from overturning a 3-goal deficit to Chelsea. Hopes were high. Doubts were low. The press was stunned into silence, from what seemed ‘impossible’ to start imagining that it is still possible. Unfortunately, the comeback that many hoped will happen, could not be sustained. The game ended in a thrilling 4-4 draw.

Amid the cries of agony, there are voices of victory shouting out with gusto. The irony is, there can be victory in defeat. I am certainly proud of the way the Liverpool players held their heads high to produce a performance that speaks volumes of the spirit of Liverpool Football Club. Take nothing away from Chelsea. They won deservedly. My point is that we can learn a couple of things from the amazing comeback spirit, the never-say-die attitude demonstrated in the Liverpool fight-back.

Firstly, life is not about winning or losing. It is about living as meaningfully as possible. Only then one can play with passion and work with commitment. It tells a lot when one says ‘To be a Liverpool player is to be a pleasure.’ As goalkeeper, Jose Reina was reported to say:

"At Stamford Bridge we were better, at Anfield they were. But it doesn't matter who was better, only who goes through. In the first half I thought we were going through, we were playing fantastic football and dominating them.

"We played for Liverpool with heart. All we could give was passion and commitment. To be a Liverpool player is a pleasure."

Reina has revealed his side were determined to honour the 96 Liverpool supporters killed in the Hillsborough disaster 20 years ago.

"We tried our best for 96 as well but couldn't do it," he said. "We were playing as 11 guys with a lot of passion but we were also lifted by 96 souls.

"We were moved by that and tried everything we could but in the end we did not manage it." “”

(Credit: Soccernet, 15 April 2009)

Secondly, learn to look forward. Even in loss, one can still look forward with a more determined stance for the next challenge. Sometimes, victory can introduce pride and invite seduction of laziness. Sometimes, the better thing to happen to us is not a win, but a loss. Liverpool’s inconsistency has cost them many titles over the past few years. They were topping the Premier League a couple of months ago, but some erratic performances cost them dearly. Now, in order to win, they will not only need to win all their games, they have to hope that their opponents falter along the way. It is a tough position to be in, knowing that one is not in full control. The only thing one can control, is to look forward positively and continue to do one’s best. Without a healthy view of the future, one’s view of the present moment can become easily buried in the suffocating soil of yesterday’s misfortunes. Look forward with hope, and press on with a constructive attitude to learn from past mistakes. There is no shame in losing. After-all, in sports, what matters more is spirited sportsmanship rather than childish tantrums that blames everybody else except oneself.

Thirdly, create a personal collection of great comebacks. There is nothing to be ashamed of when we have tried our best. In yesterday’s remarkable game, Liverpool has nothing to be ashamed of. Mistakes were made. Silly missteps were committed, but we cannot fault the positive attitude of playing a good game and making it really terrifying for the opponents. Other teams team would have called it quits after a first round loss. Others may write off the chances of any great comeback. However, the history of great comebacks is a worthwhile book to write. It brings much hope and encouragement. It could even save one’s life especially in the deepest despair. Interestingly, none of the recent Champions League victories in 2008 (Manchester United), 2007 (AC Milan) and 2006 (Barcelona) ever come close, in terms of fanfare and media reporting to the one won by Liverpool in 2005. This goes to show that winning a game is not the only thing. What is more meaningful is the manner in which it was won, or lost.

I am a Liverpool football club supporter and I am proud of it, regardless of victory or defeat. Can LFC win the English Premier League this year? With a ‘never-say-die’ attitude and careful performance, there is only one answer.

ks

A Complaint Free World

A 21 Day Challenge toward a Complaint Free World

Will Bowen has a great idea. One may not be able to change others, but that is not going to stop anyone from changing him or herself. In “A Complaint Free World,” Bowen lays out a plan to help people stop complaining and to start enjoying life as it was meant to be. Structured as a challenge as well as a guide through four phases of the project, Bowen presents us a map to help people move from a state of “Unconscious Incompetence” to reach the “Unconscious Competence” state. The key is to move from an incompetent (complaining) attitude to one that is competent (non-complaining). Even better is to become a non-complaining person without us even knowing it. His premise is captured in the quote by Maya Angelou:

“If you don’t like something, change it.
If you can’t change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain.” (Maya Angelou)

“Our thoughts create our lives and our words indicate what we are thinking.” (Will Bowen, New York: Doubleday, 2007, , p10)

The Idea

1. First pledge not to complain, criticize or gossip verbally about anything. As long as it comes out of the mouth, it is considered a complaint.
   
2. Wear a bracelet (or any tangible movement like moving a coin from one pocket to another, or switch your watch to the other wrist) to keep track of the complaints. Each time a complaint, criticism or gossip is muttered, switch the bracelet from one arm to the other. The moment this happens, you have to restart your day count.
   
3. The objective is to do this for 21 consecutive days WITHOUT complaining. Each time
   
4. Like many, you will probably realize that there will be a dramatic change in your attitude beginning with a significant drop in your complaining, criticizing and gossiping.
   
5. Typically, most people complete the 21-day experiment between 4-8 months.

The four stages are:
I – Unconscious Incompetence
In this phase, Bowen addresses two major reasons why people should address the complaining attitude; namely keeping mental sanity and secondly for better physical health. The first reason is due to the erroneous way society places on complaining in order to get what they want. At the heart of each complaint, lies the feeling of grief-pain-discontent. Many companies set up booths that deal with ‘customer complaints,’ as if it is a very normal thing to do. The second reason why it is important to address this is a health reason. Making use of research findings in psychology, Bowen points out the negative impact on health that complaints bring. Robin Kowalski’s research reveals that people complain mainly to invoke sympathy from others. Moreover, nearly two-third of all illnesses have a psychological origin. In order to move to the next stage, one will need to become conscious of one’s tendency to complain.

II – Conscious Incompetence
A complaining attitude is a drag on relationships. In fact, choosing to complain is likened to a drug. It is addictive and feeds upon an environment of complaints. Relationships will become unhappy, worries more common and leads to a host of situations that fuel more complaints. It is important to wake up from this conundrum of whining and take action to change. Using the computer term GIGO (Garbage-In-Garbage-Out) as an example, what one puts in (complaining) will result in similar outputs.

III – Conscious Competence
A key way to address the complaining attitude is to adopt the language of silence. Bowen was often asked how he get things done without complaining. He gave an example on how he handle a telemarketing nuisance call. He called the hotline and shared the following

“Instead, I called again and said to the customer-service person, ‘I know mistakes happen, and I know this isn’t your fault. I’m committed to not getting these calls from your company anymore and am willing to work with you until we find the challenge and fix it together.’ Within ten minutes, she had found the issue… and the calls ceased.” (96)

As I think about it, it is indeed a helpful way to resolve problems. Instead of berating the other poor soul on the other side of the line, we can treat the other person as a human person, another one who is simply working to make ends meet. In controlling any rage in ourselves and start behaving more considerately, we can help bring positive change in this world.

Bowen suggests the following change of vocabulary and language.
- Not PROBLEM but OPPORTUNITY
- Not “Have to” but “Get to”
- Not “Setback” but “Challenge”
- Not “Enemy” but “Friend”
- Not “Tormentor” but “Teacher”
- Not “Pain” but “Signal”
- Not “I demand” but “I Would Appreciate”
- Not “Complaint” but “Request”
- Not “Struggle” but “Journey”
- Not “You did this” but “I created this”

The point is the language we use reflects our intention. This world is better off with one more ‘supporter’ and one less critic of human beings. When one determines to become a supporter instead of a critic or complainer, one is on the way toward the final stage: The Unconscious Competent.

IV – Unconscious Competence
Philippians 2:4 says it clearly to do everything without complaining. When this happens, one learns better to adapt to the environment rather than to force one’s expectations on society at large. Not only will one be happier inside, one can influence change outside to bring about positive behaviour in others. The first beneficiary is the family. Bowen quotes Gary Zukav who says: “Complaining is a Form of Manipulation.”

My Comments
This 21-day experiment is worth a try. Although Will Bowen is of a theological orientation that I do not subscribe to, this Complaint-Free idea is something that I feel is worth supporting, mainly because it helps reduce the complaining tendency in this culture. Bowen is a Unitarian minister, who does not believe in the Trinity doctrine. Moreover, there is also a New Age flavour in his theology. Some of his deep seated ideas come from such a philosophy that sees the good in mankind available to all persons. The book appears to be written for a secular audience and thus is emptied of many religious connotations. That partially explains the book’s wider audience of acceptance. I will suggest that evangelicals substitute their motive for not-complaining to one that is consciously aware that one lives for the glory of God, and to cultivate a thankful spirit from within. This ability to do good is not sustainable on our own. We can only be sustained by Christ and guided by the Holy Spirit.

The book, “A Complaint Free World” is an easy read, with interesting ideas. However, replace the motive for not-complaining with one that is God-glorifying. That way, we can become salt and light to the world, not only for 21-days but for all eternity.

ks

When the Economic Crisis Gets Really Bad....

(Photo credit: Vanillaseven)

"Grace is Gone" - Movie

I watched this movie on Maundy Thursday. Inspired by a true story, it is a film about a family that needs to cope with the death of the mother serving in Iraq. When he heard the news, Stan Phillips was stunned and didn't know how to react. He decided to keep his two girls in the dark, until he can give them a time of their lives. He decided on a road trip with the girls. His work, children's school responsibilities and all other usual chores become a distant concern. Driving across far distances, he decided to give the girls whatever they have always wanted. Watching movies throughout the night, going to the Enchanted Gardens theme park, skipping school, shopping for gifts and getting their ears pierced. Played by John Cushack, Stan gave a riveting performance as the father in grief. In his own private moments, he would call back home to listen to the voice recording which contains the sound of his wife. It is clear that he was grieving with the loss alone, while at the same time, keeping this news from his two girls. Only toward the end of the movie, Stan brought the girls to the beach and told them the news. It was the most touching moment of the show, to see how the father and his daughter weep uncontrollably as they embrace one another over the loss of their mother. That was a weepie. Some of the reactions I felt were:

• Importance of learning to cope with bad news, applying both self-control sometimes, and letting oneself go at other times;
  
• Take a long drive away from home, and familiar places;
  
• Never underestimate the need to grieve. All other things will become a distant second priority;
  
• Spend pure time with loved ones, without needing a plan;
  
• Talk with people;
  
• Pray a lot;
  
• A Good Sleep is needed in coping with loss;
  
• Reveal Bad News at an appropriate time; Plan carefully;
  
• Do not underestimate the depth of a loss.

Losing a loved one is something profoundly deep. I recall how the people who witnessed Jesus's death at the cross as follows:

When all the people who had gathered to witness this sight saw what took place, they beat their breasts and went away. But all those who knew him, including the women who had followed him from Galilee stood at a distance, watching these things. (Luke 23:48-49, NIV)

Imagine the grief and pain they were going through at that time, watching someone they love die on the cross, horribly, unjustly and undeservedly.

It is a very meaningful movie, tears and all. Highly recommended.

ks

Think Different - 4 initiatives

Rosabeth Moss Kanter is a renowned Harvard professor of strategy and leadership in the famous business school of the same name. I came across many of her articles and writings during my MBA studies. It is also interesting to see new perspectives of management over the years. One of her most memorable pieces include the Change Master, which talks about how to bring about changes in a corporation's culture. Change is one of the hardest things to employ in any organization. In her latest article entitled "Thinking Differently in the Recession: Today's Whole Earth Catalog," she blends management, leadership, organizational dynamics and environmental concerns together in the light of today's tough economic climate. She links four strategies necessary not only for organizational survival but environmental sustenance. She hopes that such initiatives can inspire innovation and present an opportunity for people to think differently.

She writes:

"That counter-culture's elements hardly seem threatening today. Respect the land and learn to grow your own food — how radical! Recycle garbage into compost to fertilize the gardens — doubly radical! Make your own herbal tea, cut electricity use, preserve water, ride bicycles or walk — how revolutionary! Share your living space with other people and create a sense of community — over the top! Be skeptical of establishments, and value the earth more than earthly assets — too much! Make love, not war — what will they think of next?"

In it she says that there is hope in four ways, namely;

1) Green Awareness
2) Self-Sufficiency
3) Healthy Behaviors
4) Communal Living

Firstly, efforts must be invested to recycle, reuse and rethink ways to make old things new. This contrasts with a throw-away culture where businesses simply adopt convenience over conservation of scarce resources. I will venture to argue against the problem of low cost. In my experience, when things are cheap, people tend to buy more and throw more. Recently, I saw a special sales offer at a major supermarket that sells chocolate milk at 99cents per litre. In contrast, a larger gallon of milk retails at nearly $5. If we do the math, it is cheaper to buy four small bottles of chocolate milk at $3.96 compared to $5 for one large container. The waste generated from four to five small containers may be marginally less than 1 large container. However, multiply that with the many families that do the same and we have a larger pool of waste to deal with. Low cost is no friend of environmental considerations. Another problem is plastic bags, where many places simply use them like public water.

Secondly, she advocates more focus on equipping people to do it themselves, such as DIY kits, even the growing of food. She suggests that products that 'build capabilities' rather than increase dependence are sorely needed.

Thirdly, a healthy lifestyle. The other day, I was watching a documentary on CBC entitled: "Ten Trillion and Counting" about the rising financial deficit the US government is incurring. Based on current and projected spending on healthcare programs like Medicare and MedicAid, the country is increasingly making not themselves in debt, but their children's. Indeed, it is better not to even need to tap onto health insurance programs, to keep oneself healthy in the first place. For in the future, it is likely that even if one is eligible to make a health insurance claim, he/she may have to wait in line for a long time.

Fourthly, communal living is even more important for an aging population.

Looking at these four areas, businesses will be wise to focus their resources on caring for the planet, to equip people in DIY programs, to embark services that promote healthy living and to live in community. These four things are acceptable initiatives as far as the Christian is concerned. It is also biblical. The first instruction from God to Adam is to care for the earth. We need to learn to be environmentally conscious in all of our actions. Reuse. Recycle. Renew our natural resources. The second point about equipping others is also something very consistent with Paul's exhortation to the churches. Empower one another to do the will of God. That' s what spiritual gifts are for, to build up. Thirdly, the care of the body is also a consistent Christian virtue. After-all, isn't the body a temple of the Holy Ghost. Finally, the emphasis on community. This should have been championed by Christianity first and foremost, instead of being reminded by business dons at Harvard. I am not sure about Professor Kanter's religious background, but these four initiatives she suggested are beneficial for all to adopt. Let's think differently.

ks

The Way of the King (Holy Week 2009)

Last weekend was Palm Sunday. My church held a special session as Palm Sunday coincided with its 11th Anniversary. Founded in April 1998, Lord’s Peace Chapel began with three families, headed by the Chees, the Lees and the Yongs. For 11 years, the seed of faith was sown, water of care was showered, the discipline of loving toil was adopted and the fruits became visible. With more than 100 members attending each Sunday, the Church can be considered a medium sized church in the city of Vancouver. Pastor Josh’s skill in weaving the different ministries together was masterly. Testimonies were shared by children to adults, English speaking to Mandarin speaking, from the young to the not so young. It made the church service a real people affair as individuals appear up on the pulpit to share and to let the rest know that they exist for the benefit of the whole church for the glory of God. The worship service was intentionally led with songs that tell of God’s goodness over the years. I enjoyed the service, not only for its uniqueness but the purposefulness in thanking God for all He has done.

Was it a step in faith at that time? Yes. That was a giant step out of their comfort zones. These families have a church to attend, comfortable environment and predictable routines. Is it tough? Certainly. Planting a church is tough. On a scale of 1-10, many pastors will easily put a 10 in terms of toughness. I have helped plant a church before back in 1993. What made the church plant meaningful was the fact that excitement overwhelms the uncertainty; faith outruns fear; and the desire to be witnesses for God overpower the trepidation of embarrassment if the planting efforts fail in any way. Skeptics may claim such an initiative then as foolishness. Let me add that the very act of following Jesus is already considered foolishness as far as the world is concerned. Why will a heavenly king like Jesus, bother to come down to earth to suffer humiliation? Why will a universal Judge, willingly suffer acts of injustice in an utterly ridiculous trial that convicts the innocent (Jesus) and frees the guilty (Barabbas)? The story of such an irony begins positively on Palm Sunday, but tragically on Good Friday. Palm Sunday begins remarkably with another fulfillment of the prophecy in Isaiah 62:11 and Zechariah 9:9.

“Say to the daughter of Zion,
Behold Your king is coming to you,
Gentle, and Mounted on a donkey,
Even on a colt, the foal of a beast of burden.”

Three observations can be made. Firstly, only the first part of verse 5 refers to the Isaiah passage, namely “Say to the daughter of Zion.” The rest of verse 5 are not from Isaiah. The prophecy being fulfilled is actually in the coming of a king, and the entry on a donkey. This is an amazing contextualization of the Old Testament texts fulfilled in the person of Christ. In order to make such tight integration, one needs to be well immersed and studied in the Scriptures, so that the Holy Spirit can guide one unto all truths at that time. It is interesting to note that the putting together of the prophecy is understood from Matthew’s point of view, and his interpretation of what Jesus has said in verses 2-3. I guess when he was observing Jesus’s entry into Jerusalem that day, he would not have comprehended what they all meant, except to remember that such an event happened, then and understood only later on. Secondly, the reference to the one being king. It is explicitly stated βασιλεύς (basileus) which is ‘king’ who is coming. This is the same word with 'kingdom.' Unabashedly, Jesus declares himself as king. Thirdly, the use of a donkey represents a reference to the use of the donkey as the mode of transport for kingly figures during the Old Testament times, which is also known as the Ancient New East. Scholars have identified many royal leaders riding into cities on donkeys. This contrasts with the idea of a horse which is used in war. When Jesus chose a donkey instead of a horse, he was declaring to all that the spiritual war is not going to be one that is fought using weapons of mass destruction, or might of military prowess. Instead it is going to be gently done in humility and peace. Wow. A triumphant entry into Jerusalem is like a declaration of war on God’s terms, not the world. Palm Sunday kick starts the Holy Week, one of the most significant weeks of the Christian year, leading up to Easter.

As we approach the last days of Lent, it is good to ponder at the way we embark upon adventures or projects we have planned. The three observations made above can help us approach our lives as follows.

1) Integrating the Word into Our Ways
By reading the Word of God on a regular basis, and reading widely, not only the New Testament, we will be able to understand not only the context of the passages we read, but the whole Bible as well. Read the Poetical books in the evening. Meditate on the Pentateuch in the morning. Dwell in the gospels throughout the day. Read intentionally the epistles of Paul and John. Wrestle with the Prophets. Marvel at the history of the Church and the nation of Israel. When one is well soaked in Scripture, he does not need to depend on external expertise of scholars on any one verse, but he will actually be able to link Scriptural truths together with the Spirit of God as Guide. Howard Hendricks, in his classic book on the art and science of Bible reading asks: “If my spiritual life depended on my knowledge of Deuteronomy, how would I make out?” (Howard Hendricks, Living By the Book, Moody Press, 1993, p21). This reminds us that when we say we are Bible believing Christians, it is the WHOLE Bible, not simply selected books or pet verses.

2) Truth in the Name of the King
In “Truth Decay,” Douglas Groothuis seeks to warn readers about the threats of half-truths from postmodern influences. Absolute has given in to the relative. Objective is upended by the subjective and universal truth becoming more customized in the form of ‘what is good for you may not be good for me,; in the name of free choice. He is exceptionally critical of television, calling it the chief agent of truth decay.

“The truth is that truth, and the most important truths, is often not entertaining. An entertaining mentality will insulate us from many hard but necessary truths. The concepts of sin, repentance and hell, for instance, cannot be presented as entertaining without robbing them of their intrinsic meaning. Jesus, the prophets and the apostles held the interest of their audience not by being amusing but by their zeal for God’s truth, however unpopular or uncomfortable it may have been. They refused to entertain but instead edified and convicted. It was nothing like television.” (Douglas Groothius, Truth Decay, Downers Grove, IL: IVP, 2000, p292)

Jesus does not mince his words, but tells the truth as it is. He knows that he is king. There is nothing to be shy about. He calls himself as king because he indeed is king.

3) Humility as the Life
In his commentary on Matthew, the RT France from the London Bible College observes that Jesus does not need a donkey in the first place to travel. After-all, he has been traveling on foot all the way from Galilee. Surely, he does not need a donkey to complete his journey? Yet, the very reason he does so is to tell the people to take note and recognize that he is coming as king. RT France calls it a ‘deliberate gesture.’ (RT France, Matthew, IVP, 1985, p296)

Humble living ought to be the mark of any disciple of Christ. No matter what status in society we are in, regardless of the background we possess or the qualifications attached to us, we need to practice humility. Charles Spurgeon made an insightful comment about humility:

“Humility is to make a right estimate of oneself.” (Charles Spurgeon)

Donkeys are also used not to represent humility but to contrast with the ways of the world. In the face of power and might, the disciple of Christ must not cower in fright but attest in the light of truth. “Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth.” (Matthew 5:5) The Christian fight is not something that is evaded in fear. It is something vigorously fought albeit with different tools. In teaching his disciples not to return an eye for an eye, or a tooth for a tooth, Jesus said:

“But I say to you, do not resist the evil person; but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also.” (Matthew 5:39).

Surely this introduces a new perspective of the Old Testament law that does not nullify but fulfills the law. It tells us that the way of the law leads to unending vengeful acts, but the way of Jesus leads to love and goodwill.

Jesus enters Jerusalem triumphantly, as king riding on the humble donkey. Yet, that is not the biggest declaration of victory. It is the bigger victory that is yet to come, but first, Jesus will need to go to the cross to carry the sins of the world that will be horribly nailed on him.

ks