Tim Challies recently released 2 ebooks that try to address this temptation. There is a need to have a 'sexual detox' especially for men, both single and married. Writing with a reformed perspective, Challies first observes that our modern culture is sex fills our minds and impacts our hearts. He then presents the modern dilemma as follows. How can "guys who want to be holy, who want to honor God with their minds and bodies" overcome the temptations of the modern highly-sexed culture? As both books are largely similar, I shall base my review on the one on the single guy, as every man has been single before.
Brief Overview
Challies answers this by providing 6 short chapters.
- In chapter 1, "Pornifying the Marriage Bed," he zooms in on one of the key problems: Pornography. Engaging in pornography essentially makes men put unfair expectations on their wives or future wives, to behave or to act like the false porn portrayals. That is cruel and unfair when the wives fail to 'perform' like what men see on their porn. In fact, once anybody got hooked onto porn as an addiction, it is so damaging that a detoxification process is required for cleansing.
- In chapter 2, "Breaking Free" is the first step to recovery. It is not swallowing a detox pill but to stop doing the wrong act altogether first of all. In other words, stopping the act altogether clears the deck for a fresh recovery. In other words, stop consuming porn stuff that puts unreal expectations on others. Instead, begin to prepare one's heart to wear God's lens of purity to learn to see real people, and to love them for who they are.
- In chapter 3, "Theology of Sex" lays the groundwork for a fresh start, to see from God's perspective rather than from the world. A theology is important as it affirms that sex is good when we see if from God's original intention. This attempt at a biblical approach is helpful especially for believers.
- In chapter 4, "Self-Centered Sex" Challies makes a case against masturbation and other acts that puts self before others. This additional section on masturbation is additional material that is slightly different from the 'married men' version of Sexual Detox. Here, Challies hones in on the true nature of sex. It is not self-centered but love for others centered.
- In chapter 5, "Detoxification," the detox process is described in greater detail. Sex is not the 'act' but the 'thought' behind the act. Such a perspective must be maintained throughout the detox process.
- In chapter 6, "Freedom," we see how detox liberates one from the clutches of worldly sex.
- Finally, Challies provides a helpful set of resources for those who want to learn more.
A) Download "Sexual Detox - A Guide for the Single Guy"
B) Download "Sexual Detox - A Guide for the Married Guy"
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