There is something that troubles me whenever I read posts on Christian
forums or public debates that pit different groups against one another.
Whether it is the AWARE debacle, the CHC trials, the prosperity gospel
debates over Joseph Prince, or the most recent HCI social media storms
on the FOTF session, I ponder over the many responses that appear
tit-for-tat rather than listening and learning. Some debates turned into
full blown attacks even on the personal scale, making it an ugly scene
to encourage others to wade in constructive participation. What does it
mean to speak the truth in love?
I like to suggest 3 postures to adopt. I write with myself as the primary audience, inviting you all to listen in. If it helps, that's great. If not, thanks for looking.
1) LISTEN. The New Testament reminds me to be quick to listen and slow to speak. In FB terminology, it means to be quick to understand and slow to respond. A pastor friend of mine once said that when he receives an email that hurts, he would take about 3 days to wait over it, to pray, and to ask how he should respond, if he needs to respond. I think that is helpful especially when tempers are high. Maybe we may not need 72 hours. Just ensure we set aside some time to cool off and to pray. The ancients taught us that Anger is a big inhibitor of prayer. The Quakers also have this saying: "The enemy is one whose story we have not heard." No wonder Quakers spend lots of time in silence, that they may listen. This attitude of listening is an act of grace. In our social media world, silence does not mean simply not speaking. It also means not typing our responses until we have understood any particular viewpoint in its entirety. Lord, teach me to listen well, (or simply ignore if appropriate), even to dissenting voices that are rude, or downright vicious.
2) LEARN. The mark of a disciple is in his willingness to learn. It is no coincidence that the underlying meaning of the Greek for disciple is "mathetes" which can also be translated as "a learner." It is easy to search the Internet to support what we want. It is not so easy to restrain ourselves from giving our "two cents" worth of thought, just to demonstrate that our point is more valid that others. Pride lurks dangerously in the heated moments of any intellectual debate. What good is it to win an argument but lose the brother/sister? What benefit does it bring to our souls if our words cut deeply and painfully even though our points are right? In Facebook engagements, one way is to ask questions that clarify, and not be too quick to vilify. This attitude of learning is a mark of discipleship. Lord, help me learn with Your humility as guide.
3) LEAVE. The first posture of listening
reminds us of St Francis's prayer that to be a channel of God's peace
means "to understand" is more important than "being understood." The
second posture of learning puts ourselves in place that we are still
learning in the school of life. We are not there yet. The Chinese have
this saying: "一山还比一山高" which essentially means there is always a
mountain higher than ours. The third posture is about what we want to
leave behind at the end of every discussion. I know. In heated moments,
it is hard to think like this. In the West, the word "Christian" is
increasingly surrounded by negativity. In the first century when the
believers were first called "Christians" at Antioch, the name
"Christian" is a derogatory term. I fear it is becoming like that in our
society. I know that full well in the West. Far too many believers
practice our Christian lives on the basis of intellect first, emotions
second, actions third. Distinguished Yale theologian Miroslav Volf
argued for a reverse, that Christians ought to live "from hand to heart
to head." Do all the good you can, and leave behind a trail of good
testimonies that lead to good feelings, that would encourage us toward
good theology. I know this is quite a paradigm shift, especially with me
being immersed in theological training. In social media, I want to ask
myself what do I want to leave behind? Very often, it is a tendency to
show off. I must resist that. In the spirit of koinonia, I must leave
behind traces of Christ's love.
Hopefully, Christians in forums we are a part of, we can spark off a movement that listens to opposing voices, that learns from different views, that would leave behind traces of Christ that will change public perceptions of Christianity wherever we are. If we need to speak, if we absolutely need to say something, we need to practice speaking the truth in love.
I am nowhere near the three postures, but I am trying to be, with God's help. If you find this preachy, do forgive me. My purpose is to help cultivate something Christians can do, in the light of what I perceive is an increasingly negative climate outside, targeted at Christians. Thanks for reading.
ks
I like to suggest 3 postures to adopt. I write with myself as the primary audience, inviting you all to listen in. If it helps, that's great. If not, thanks for looking.
1) LISTEN. The New Testament reminds me to be quick to listen and slow to speak. In FB terminology, it means to be quick to understand and slow to respond. A pastor friend of mine once said that when he receives an email that hurts, he would take about 3 days to wait over it, to pray, and to ask how he should respond, if he needs to respond. I think that is helpful especially when tempers are high. Maybe we may not need 72 hours. Just ensure we set aside some time to cool off and to pray. The ancients taught us that Anger is a big inhibitor of prayer. The Quakers also have this saying: "The enemy is one whose story we have not heard." No wonder Quakers spend lots of time in silence, that they may listen. This attitude of listening is an act of grace. In our social media world, silence does not mean simply not speaking. It also means not typing our responses until we have understood any particular viewpoint in its entirety. Lord, teach me to listen well, (or simply ignore if appropriate), even to dissenting voices that are rude, or downright vicious.
2) LEARN. The mark of a disciple is in his willingness to learn. It is no coincidence that the underlying meaning of the Greek for disciple is "mathetes" which can also be translated as "a learner." It is easy to search the Internet to support what we want. It is not so easy to restrain ourselves from giving our "two cents" worth of thought, just to demonstrate that our point is more valid that others. Pride lurks dangerously in the heated moments of any intellectual debate. What good is it to win an argument but lose the brother/sister? What benefit does it bring to our souls if our words cut deeply and painfully even though our points are right? In Facebook engagements, one way is to ask questions that clarify, and not be too quick to vilify. This attitude of learning is a mark of discipleship. Lord, help me learn with Your humility as guide.
Hopefully, Christians in forums we are a part of, we can spark off a movement that listens to opposing voices, that learns from different views, that would leave behind traces of Christ that will change public perceptions of Christianity wherever we are. If we need to speak, if we absolutely need to say something, we need to practice speaking the truth in love.
I am nowhere near the three postures, but I am trying to be, with God's help. If you find this preachy, do forgive me. My purpose is to help cultivate something Christians can do, in the light of what I perceive is an increasingly negative climate outside, targeted at Christians. Thanks for reading.
ks
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